Ode to a Typewriter

Well I know it has been a while since my last blog, like five months or something.  And I could try and explain by saying how busy I’ve been.  But that would be a lie.  I have been very un-busy.  O.k. that is not entirely true, July and August where pretty busy months for me.   I was getting a new apartment, packing, moving, praising the Lord that I no longer live with the idiot twins anymore, etc.  But the last couple months have been pretty quiet.  It’s nice.  I have been catching up on 4 ½ years of books, movies, and T.V. shows that I was too busy to read/watch while I was in school.

Anyway you’re probably wondering about the title of my blog.  “Let me explain…no there is too much, let me sum up.”  Anybody get that quote?  If you didn’t, I can no longer speak to you.  And you should stop reading right now, because nothing I say will ever make to sense to you.  It was from The Princess Bride by the way, but if you’re still reading you already knew that.  But I digress.  My mom has been de-cluttering her house, which means trying to get me to take all the stuff she no longer wants.  And one of these things was her old typewriter.  I was actually very glad to take this off her hands.  This is the typewriter I used to sneak out of her closet and mess with.  Until she finally told me I could put it in my room.  I love that typewriter.  I would sit for hours typing any random thought that came into my head.  I started so many stories, and wrote so much nonsense.  Those were good times. 

So tonight I finally got it out of its case and set it up on my little table (another item mom gave me by the way).  I’d forgotten how much fun it was to type on that thing.  I started giggling after the first sentence.  Is there anything more fun that typing on a typewriter?  I don’t think there is.  It is so much more fun than typing on a computer.  The keyboard is much harder to press on, it takes so much more effort, but it’s so worth it.  The keys make such a fun sound when you hit them with your fingers, and man will it give your fingers a workout.  And then the best part, the little “ding” when you get to the end of a row.  Now if your computer makes noise it usually means something bad has happened, an error of some kind.  But a typewriter can never get a virus, or freeze right in the middle of some important task, and since mine is manual it doesn’t matter if the electricity or the internet goes out.  Does it take more concentration?  Do you actually need to know how to spell words?  Yes, but is that a bad thing?  I don’t think it is.  It is just so satisfying to have a thought and be able to immediately put it on paper.  It is completely different from a computer.  Because after you type something on a computer, you first have to save it, then turn on your printer, load the paper, hit print, say a prayer that it actually gets sent to the printer and that you have enough ink, and then and only then will your thoughts appear on paper.

I know, I know, I’m a big nerd for thinking a typewriter is so cool.  But so what?  I’m a nerd, I freely admit that.  And now this big nerd is going to go and sit in a comfortable chair and read my nice leather bound edition of Sherlock Holmes.  That’s right I’m going to go read.  Jealous?

Freedom

Free at last!  I am officially done with college!  Happy dance!  Thank you God!  No more papers.  No more exams.  No more all-nighters.  No more stress eating away the lining of my stomach.  No more evil professors who dislike me for no good reason.  No more stupid people in the back of the class saying idiotic things like, “well why are we focusing so much on skin color, isn’t it what’s on the inside that matters?” when discussing the importance of race in film.  I wanted to say, “Yes that’s what should matter, but we live in the REAL world, not fantasy land.”  No more lugging 20 pounds of books around campus in my little suitcase on wheels.  No more getting hit by cars on the way to school.  It is finally OVER!

I don’t quite know what to do with myself.  I have been in school for 4 ½ years.  It is oddly unsettling knowing there is nothing I should be doing.  For example, any other year around this time I would be done with one semester and getting ready for the next.  In fact I would probably be getting ready for the summer semester right about now.  But now I don’t have to worry anymore.  It’s weird.

But I have been doing some productive things.  I sold back every textbook I own, all 30 of them.  I got $140 for them, score!  But I don’t have to lug them around anymore or trip over them in my room so it was totally worth it.  I also took back all the library books I had checked out, all 59 of them.  And those were just the books I used for this semester.  If you totaled up all the library books I checked out for school projects I bet the numbers would be in the thousands.  I also went shopping so now I have food to eat.  Eating just was not a priority when I was writing 3 research papers in a week and studying for finals that were the next week.  I also went through every piece of clothing I own and I’m getting rid of 2 full trash bags of clothes.  So I am not just sitting around doing nothing.  Well actually right now I am, but that is only because I am so sore from lugging the aforementioned books down a flight of stairs and back to the library/bookstore.  It may not have been the smartest idea to do this all in the same day.  Because I have to tell you, nothing weighs more than hardback, boring books about communism and Russia.  But I am planning on soaking in a bath later to loosen up my muscles.  That’s right I have time to take baths now!  Happy dance again!

Anyway I should go and take that bath because I’m actually in quite a bit of pain.  So, I’ll talk to you later.  Oh, and by the way I am starting a new blog called “Say it With Cheese.”  On this blog I plan on posting recipes (not just cheese recipes) because I actually have time to cook now.  Next week I plan on making enchiladas.  Stay tuned.

Good Samaritans

“People suck,” is my usual philosophy.  In fact, most days I think people are just plain evil.  But today I was reminded that there are still some good, kind people in this world.  This morning, after only getting about 4 hours of sleep, I woke up way too early to walk to class.  I was incredibly tired and stressed because I had to give a presentation today.  On top of which I was running behind, and lugging an extra 10 pounds around in my suitcase.  So there I was trudging along, feeling and looking like death, when someone pulls up to me and offers me a ride.  Now I should pause here and say that I have been walking to school almost every day for the past year and no one has EVER offered me a ride before.  But I digress, anyway this girl stops her car and asks me if I need a ride.  I normally wouldn’t take rides from strangers, but considering the fact that she was obviously a student, and the fact that it was way too early for any freaks and weirdos to be out, I happily accepted. 

 

It really felt like God was looking out for me, because I have to be honest I don’t think I have ever needed a ride so badly before.  And that kind of set the tone for the whole day.  I got to class early, for once it wasn’t freezing inside, and the professor let us out early.  Then I went to get some breakfast, and it was sooooo good.   It was an egg sandwich on a croissant role, with Swiss cheese and turkey bacon.  Then I went to finish working on my presentation, which I finished on time.  I also told the professor how there was a good probability that I might vomit so he let me go first.  Going first is always the best because then it’s over and you can sit back and relax.  I think my presentation went pretty well, I was more prepared than some people.  Then while I was walking home, a guy from my class stops me and asks me if he could borrow one of the books I recommended to him, I agree and he gave me a ride home to pick it up.  So I didn’t have to walk practically at all today.  Which was good, because I might have passed out from exhaustion.  I should pause here and mention that the guy who gave me a ride was married (so don’t get any ideas people) and he is a cop so I wasn’t worried about accepting a ride with him.

So, all in all a pretty good day and those don’t usually come along this close to the end of the semester.  For example, around this same time last semester I got pulled over by the cops and got hit by a car while I was walking (the second time this has happened since I moved to Cruces).  Which is why I think I was so surprised that someone offered me a ride, most of the time I feel like I’m invisible to people driving, that seems to be the only explanation for the numerous times I have been hit or almost hit.  So for once it seems I caught a break and it seems that there are still some good Samaritans out there.  And I just wanted to tell people about it.

Combating The Moronic Plague

Hello again, after my last post I decided to try and think about what we, as a society, can do to combat the "moronic plague" that our nation seems to be going through.  I was in class today, "History of the Global Political Economy," and we discussed the recession and other current topics.  And my professor said that he wanted this course to educate us at least a little about our current economy and the problems it is facing.  He said that knowledge was power and that we should try and educate the people we know as well.  I took this to mean, help lower the amount of stupid people in the world.  So here is my attempt.  I just read a very good book about the economic crisis.  It discussed, among many things, why everything went to hell in 2008.  The book is "I.O.U.: Why Everyone Owes Everyone and No One Can Pay" by John Lanchester.  Here is the link to its Amazon webpage http://www.amazon.com/I-U-Why-Everyone-Owes/dp/B0048ELDUU/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1302849369&sr=1-1.  This book does a very good job of dumbing down very complex financial ideas.  And Lanchester does it in a very humorous way.  So there is my contribution.  If at least one person reads the book, I can say I have educated someone.  And I have thus done my part in the war against morons.

And while we are discussing improving people, I would like to bring up donating to charities.  Now I know most of the people reading this aren't exactly rich by anyone's standards.  But if any of you could donate even the smallest amount to an organization like UNICEF for example, I would very much appreciate it (and so would the people you'd be helping).  I donate to UNICEF every once in a while, not as much as I should, considering how much I spend on food that is bad for me.  But anyway, just wanted to put that out there.

Before I go I would like to leave you with yet another glimpse into my world.  I will call this segment "the stupid things my roommates say."  The other day one of my roommates, let's call her K, said to a group of her friends, and I quote, "Oh, yeah dog smell is totally sexy, that plus the smell of meat from Outback [where she works] totally turns guys on, I have to beat them off with a stick."  Now some might argue that she was just kidding.  And I would agree somewhat.  She was half-kidding.  Meaning she was half-serious.  Yep, these are the morons I live with.  "Like sand through the hourglass, so are the morons of our lives."  Oh and that reminds me the morons at ABC have canceled both All My Children and One Life to Live.  I am in mourning over this.  And you will be too when you hear what they're replacing these shows with, more reality programming.  One of which is entitled "The Chew."  Sounds familiar doesn't it?  Oh, yeah don't they have another show called "The View"?  Yes, that's how much imagination was put into this idea.  I'm excited for that show.  Note the hint of sarcasm.

The Idiots I Live With

I decided to write this blog as a way to express myself.  A way to express why I am so angry all the time.  The reason is a simple one: I live with morons.  2 morons to be exact.  Hence the title of my blog, it is like living with a plague that is slowly killing me.  Now when I say moron I want you to understand my full meaning.  These girls don't have the common sense God gave lint.  I am shocked that they can walk and talk at the same time.  There is maybe half a brain between them both.

 

Now, I don't want to say what their names are, that would be wrong.  So here are some clues to help you figure it out.  The first name of one of the idiots is the title of a Led Zeppelin song: here are some lyrics to give you a hint "Oh let the sun beat down upon my face, stars to fill my dream."  The first name of the other idiot is also the first name of a famous singer.  She starred in the film The Bodyguard with Kevin Costner.  Figured it out?  If you have then you are at least 10 times smarter than the idiots I live with.  Take a moment to enjoy how smart you are.........That felt good didn't it?  One look at their profiles on Facebook and it all becomes clear.  It is clear that morons really do live among us.  They look like us, walk like us, but alas, their brains are….underdeveloped.  

I shall now provide an example of their stupidity.  I was in my bedroom trying to sleep, while one of the idiots, let’s call her W, was screeching at someone over the phone.  This is the part of the conversation that I was privileged enough to hear, “He was like talking about this guy Tony Bennett, and I was like I don’t know him.  Does he go to school here or something?”  Yes, not only does she not know who Tony Bennett is, but she also thinks that he is a student at NMSU.  Now I have a million examples of their stupidity.  But I think I’ll stop here and just end by saying: one of these days I am going to snap and either kill them or maim them.  But it’s only a matter of time.